its funny... i completely forgot that i even wrote this ... it's a good thing that i'm so self-centered that i read through my old private blog entries, lol ... cuz this entry was worth sharing:
Monday, April 18, 2005 :::
mid terms are over, and summer's on
there's a beauty in the simplicity in high school we take so seriously ... i'm sure when we look back we'll be longing for these days again, no matter how much we regret some of the things we did and say we hate the way it is now ... it's so undeniable, that feeling i get during the early summer/late spring that fills me up with such a love for life ... so different in contrast to the anxiety attacks during late fall early winter ... it seems to me that everything in the middle is a bit of a blur, not knowing where the year is going to take me ...
last year, after i broke up w/ erin (which was around this time), i loved it how i hooked trisha up w/ geoff and even the whole kristina and bogues thing, even tho that did make me feel kinda jealous ... i look back at it all now, and altho yes, some regrets, i long for those times again ... i'm getting that again now ... this weekend past was actually pretty good ... despite the fact that i said some stupid things and it was supposed to be a time of mourning ... something about standing in that field with my friends seeing them all dressed up and then going to yorkdale mall w/ them, cruising and eating at rainforest cafe, it was all so cool ... that night was strange tho, funny now that i look at it, how the guys ordered a drink for those girls and said that it was from me ... but during that moment, maybe it was just the alcohol, it did feel kinda frustrating, having rommel get mad at me for some stupid reason and insulting mark unger ... but i guess i just need to learn how to brush that all off ... on sunday, it was a wasted day, watching movies and stuff ... but then when i talked to sam on msn and reading the blogs from the guys at peths, it brought this feeling back ... the feeling of loving life during the spring ... it was awesome ... and today, a girl even asked me to the prom, so that was really cool ...
nostalgia ... it's all about that ... recreating the happy moments of the past so that i can have more memories to look back upon in the future ... memories like getting drunk in stanley's apartment, bartending at kristina's party, chilling at the sarah's barn w/ everyone, and then lisa's dad's funeral ... four parties and a funeral is what i like to call it ... catchy ... all of this sorta lifts that feeling of sadness when erin dumped me, and that anxeity of going to a new school ... provided, the stuff i had to worry about this year was nothing compared to all the other stuff that has happened to me before ... i guess it works, focusing on my studies to avoid all that drama ...
heh, i even ditched dasha to the prom and now i'm going w/ kat ... i know, that's assinine, but you know what? that's high school drama ... who was i to think that i could actually avoid all that stuff? heh ... and now, i'm in an emo mood ... listening to the kind of music these guys from peths listen to ... completely detaching myself from people like kristina and hanging out more w/ ppl like these and the regular guys from ward ... minimize the drama, optimize the fun ... it all works out see? apparently the guys from peths are gonna go to the beach after the prom, that sounds soo cool ... i hope i can hit that ... and then, after all these parties, there are still more ... jason's on the 29th, and james' on the 1st ... this is a spring on top of all that ... my mid-term average is 91 in calc and chemistry ... but, let's not talk about bio tho ... we are studying the nervous system tho, which is pretty interesting ...
hopefully this will stay .. .the weather will remain clear and i won't get down<
